| | It's been a few years...
we've both had a few modifications,
suffered some losses
had a few secret meetings
but Xanga and I seem to have finally found one another again...
....weeeee
/sarcasm
I woke up this morning with that innate sense of dread that made me want to instantly crawl back under the covers to remain until it was dark again.
My mother, unfortunately, had other plans.
So, after I took my merry time getting ready, we head out and, of course, I was volunteered to drive and I remember thinking, WTF? I didn't sign up for this trip to begin with, this wasn't my idea and yet...now that I've done my hair and actually put on a freakin' bra, you're making me DRIVE?! Insult to injury if you ask me ...but I digress...
So, drove the 35 minutes into town (Williamsburg), ate some lunch, got dragged into some stores and forced to try on many clothes that I neither wanted nor could afford but...I was feeling miraculously benevolent so, I kept my mouth shut.
After 4 hours...I started to chafe under the forced shopping spree in which nothing was actually bought...
Once we got back, I vegged out watching tv for a bit before my grandmother decided to show up. And, Oh joy of joys, she had just come from my aunt's house. It's amazing to think that my grandmother things my aunt has it all together. Aunt - mean, pushy religious fanatic, bossy, know-it-all, rude, interrupting, FREAK lady who is going through a divorce, chain smokes, and gets plastered at Fridays after work before driving home!!! Oh yes Grammi, Auntie has it ALL together because she has a degree. Apparently, my grandmother and aunt base people's worth by this...the fact that they are "intelligent" can only be proven by getting a degree in Whatever from the Institute of I Don't Give a Shit! So...naturally...when Gram walked in the door, I made myself scarce.
While I was in voluntary exile, my friend Em called asking if she could crash at my place. That was at 8, she got here around midnight. Ever since then, I've been trying to think of something to say, something nice, something helpful but, all I could do was babble on about my kooky love life (and no, before anyone asks, I don't feel like explaining what I mean by "kooky", those involved should already KNOW and, those that aren't will just have to suffer with not knowing and being left out) She's asleep on my sofa and I'm holed up in my room. =\
I hate living with my parent's again...and yet I don't.
I was miserable back at the apartment.
I was lonely and I felt like the person I was in a relationship with didn't see me anymore...that I could have been anyone. Well...I didn't just want to be "someone"...I wanted to be me and I wanted that person, the person I loved to love ME as ME...not just as someone who could have been anyone.
My car broke down a week ago and I still haven't heard back from Dodge about it...is that bad???
I miss my friends at BG...I almost wish I hadn't put in my two weeks but then, I see gas prices and feel relieved.
I hate the US for being so damn big...
...but I'm smiling again...  |
| | Posted 7/7/2008 3:14 AM - 20 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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